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Age 123 (last seen)
Gender Male
Species Penguin
Position Professional ear cleaner and panda petting, No Ventriloquism After Dark club member
Friends Stanhill, JoJo Blinks, Doireann, Ms. Ran, and Shotguntoter
Enemies Mr. Covered and Mrs. Handsome
Favorites No Ventriloquism After Dark club, Professional Ear Cleaning and Panda Petting, Stanhill, Bella, Barntoter
Related To Bella, Barntoter
Romance Interest Kalani
Status  ?
Alternate Form ?
Portrayed By ?

Syphilide was a penguin that lived in the land of Olalaia. He worked at the Professional Ear Cleaning and Panda Petting salon, and was a member of the No Ventriloquism After Dark Club.


Early lifeEdit

Syphilide was born in Olalaia, a place where penguins lived. It was very trashy, and people often littered. Huge black smoke would always cover the town, so no one outside of it knew what it was. Sometime it would be green. The water was always jet black and smelly.

Syphilide's mother, Bella, cared deeply for him and his older brother, Barntoter. Syphilide's father died a few months prior to his birth, along with Syphilide's three cousins. The cause is still unknown. He also had a stillborn sister. Throughout Syphilide's childhood, he became very close to them, as both had lived through the death of many relatives, and couldn't stand to see another go.

They always ate corn at the family meals, even though it was polluted and not safe for consumption.


After graduating from School for Braahmbles, Syphilide starting working at the Professional Ear Cleaning and Panda Petting salon with his friend Stanhill. Mr. Covered and Mrs. Handsome were frequent customers at the Ear Cleaning and Panda Petting salon, but Syphilide didn't like them for some reason.

When he walked through the Ghetto to get to his igloo after work, he'd always see a penguin named Kalani. He liked Kalani. He learned her name after overhearing a conversation between her and a cocaine freak.

Syphilide made close bonds with JoJo Blinks, Doireann, Ms. Ran, and Shotguntoter, members of the No Ventriloquism After Dark Club (NVADC). He soon joined the club, but didn't realize Stanhill didn't join because he had various puppets he'd bring out at night to his secret crack pit. Barntoter was also part of this group.

Syphilide got the nickname "Edward" after joining the club, because the members would always give each other simple names if they had a long one. He remained with the club for a long time.

After realizing that Stanhill was a part of the Ventriloquism After Dark Club (VADC), Syphilide decided he didn't want to be seen as a traitor, and insisted the two break up their friendship. Stanhill resigned at the PEC and PP salon, and disappeared into the night. It is unknown what happened to him, but Syphilide assumed the NVADC members jumped him and disposed of his body in the acid river.

Barntoter was disturbed by this, and instantly left the VADC, but his now ex-friends in the club gagged him, tied him up, and drove him off into the middle of a valley far from Olalaia, leaving him in the trunk of the car. No one could hear his raspy screams, and he soon died of dehydration and starvation.

Bella and Syphilide were shocked by Barntoter's disappearance, Syphilide believing he was also a VADC member after Stanhill's fate. Bella went into a state of depression, only having Syphilide left. She also had a sister and cousin, but she hadn't seen them in a year.

Mr. Covered and Mrs. HandsomeEdit

Syphilide had reason to believe Mr. Covered and Mrs. Handsome were somehow connected to the disappearance of Stanhill and his brother. Whenever Stanhill tried to help the two "frequent fliers" to the PEC and PP salon, they'd request for another worker's help. They also didn't like Syphilide very much, having troubles in the past with his father.

Syphilide got the help from JoJo Blinks, Doireann, Ms. Ran, and Shotguntoter to prove their guilt. Mr. Covered and Mrs. Handsome were soon proved to have been VADC founders, and were the ones to force Stanhill into the club and promised him death if he ever tried to escape, as with Barntoter.

However, the two ended up killing JoJo Blinks and Shotguntoter. Doireann and Ms. Ran shot Covered and Handsome 666 times after witnessing them killing their two friends. Syphilide was absent, as he was working at his salon.


Olalaia exploded due to all the excess pollution. There were no known survivors. Syphilide was last seen with Doireann, Ms. Ran, and his mother in his house, eating corn and discussing how to keep the VADC from ruining the NVADC again.

Due to the nuclear pollution, the penguins seemed to live a bit longer than normal penguins. Syphilide was 123 just before the explosion, Bella at 151, Ms. Ran at 130, and Doireann at 116.

He attended Sherbert's Birth.

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