Me: Bah espressobug. Now move so I can get into my house.
Caroler #4 (Puffles): Uncle Jay, would you like to come to our special holiday dinner?
Me: What do you think?
Caroler #4: Sorry...
Me: *walks into house*
Ghost of Billybob: *flies through door* Hi Jay, it's me, your dead partner Billybob. I came to tell you that three Gary's are coming to visit you tonight, one per hour. You'll see the Gary of Coffee Past, the Gary of Coffee Present, and the Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream. Later! *flies away*
Me: Oh, well that makes more sense. The little one... Will she die?
Gary of Coffee Present: If the future remains unaltered, probably.
Gary of Coffee Present: Nobody has voted yet! If Spike Hike were to win, he would create a law saying "anybody who does not pay their bills at the coffee shop on International Coffee Day's three month anniversary, their children will have to be killed."
Me: Okay, well, I don't really need to see the Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream then, right?
Everything turns black, and shadowy figures appear.
Me: I guess I do... SPIRIT... PLEASE DO NOT SHOW ME WHAT WILL COME IN MY FAR OR DISTANT FUTURE.
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: But that's what I'm paid to do!
Me: I thought you would be black... And you wouldn't talk at all...
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: Eh, I'm actually just his understudy, and they ran out of black paint, so I used a little bit of pink paint and I can't stand not talking for such a long time!
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: But something happens in two seconds.
Everything goes black as if a computer turned off.
Me: Wh- where are we?
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: The end of Club Penguin.
Me: So... Everybody dies because of me?
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: Yes. You can stop this, though! Billybob, your former partner, the founder of Club Penguin Island did not die on his own. He was murdered by Spike Hike. There's no way a new leader would have to be elected until he died.
Me: CAN WE PLEASE GO TO ANOTHER TIME NOW, SPIRIT?!
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: There is one more place we need to go.
Jay and the Gary teleport to a screen of players.
Me: Hey, this is my screen with my penguins on it!
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: Click login.
Me: Okay. *clicks login*
It loads for a while, then it says 'banned.'
Back in our dimension...
Gary: ...and even though Jay changed, everybody thought he was just trying to get everybody to vote for him, and he made everybody vote for Spike Hike and nothing changed. The end!
Charlie: Well, that didn't seem to have a very happy ending...
Gary: What did you expect? An exact remake of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol?