Me: AHH! *jumps off of bed* Bah espressobug! You owe me a bed!
Gary of Coffee Past: Sorry. Now we're going to your past of coffee! *takes Jay's hand and flies into Time Trekker, going back to a long time ago at some mountain*
Past Me: Now to be the first one to climb this tall mountain! OH NO! *trips backwards*
Me: Hey, is that me?
Past Me: AGGH, my beans spilled into that water puddle! I need some water... *grabs canteen* Uh oh, I'm out of water... I guess I'll have to drink this...
Me: *has water bottle in hand* Hey, you want some of this?
Gary of Coffee Past: He can't see you.
Me: Oh...
Past Me: *sips water puddle* This is delicious! I think I'll call it... a BEAN JUICE!
Me: Oh, well that makes more sense. The little one... Will she die?
Gary of Coffee Present: If the future remains unaltered, probably.
Me: Why?
Gary of Coffee Present: Nobody has voted yet! If Spike Hike were to win, he would create a law saying "anybody who does not pay their bills at the coffee shop on International Coffee Day's three month anniversary, their children will have to be killed."
Me: Okay, well, I don't really need to see the Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream then, right?
Everything turns black, and shadowy figures appear.
Me: I guess I do... SPIRIT... PLEASE DO NOT SHOW ME WHAT WILL COME IN MY FAR OR DISTANT FUTURE.
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: But that's what I'm paid to do!
Me: I thought you would be black... And you wouldn't talk at all...
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: Eh, I'm actually just his understudy, and they ran out of black paint, so I used a little bit of pink paint and I can't stand not talking for such a long time!
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: You could have invited them to your house on that very specific night, or maybe you could be nice to everyone and penguins could vote you for leader of Club Penguin.
Me: Right.
Peanut Eating Buttered Pony: It will be okay.
Future Gary: AHH IT'S A TALKING PEANUT!
Future Pixie: AND IT'S EATING A BUTTERED PONY!
Back in our dimension...
Me: Wait wait wait- This isn't making any sense at all. I don't think there is a talking peanut that can butter a pony and eat it!
Gary: Well, it's more exciting when you add details to the story.
Pixie: TAKE OUT THE PEANUT EATING BUTTERED PONY!
Charlie: Isn't it ironic that in this story, there was a pony eating peanut butter and a peanut eating buttered pony?
Everybody stops. Meanwhile, in another dimension...
Pixie: *crying* We should have voted for Jay and this wouldn't have happened!
Me: TAKE ME TO ANOTHER PLACE IN THE FUTURE, SPIRIT!
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: *playing Go Fish with the other Gary's* What? Can I at least finish this game of Go Fish?
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: But something happens in two seconds.
Everything goes black as if a computer turned off.
Me: Wh- where are we?
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: The end of Club Penguin.
Me: So... Everybody dies because of me?
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: Yes. You can stop this, though! Billybob, your former partner, the founder of Club Penguin Island did not die on his own. He was murdered by Spike Hike. There's no way a new leader would have to be elected until he died.
Me: CAN WE PLEASE GO TO ANOTHER TIME NOW, SPIRIT?!
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: There is one more place we need to go.
Jay and the Gary teleport to a screen of players.
Me: Hey, this is my screen with my penguins on it!
Gary of Coffee Yet to Cream: Click login.
Me: Okay. *clicks login*
It loads for a while, then it says 'banned.'
Me: NOOOOOO!
Back in our dimension...
Gary: ...and even though Jay changed, everybody thought he was just trying to get everybody to vote for him, and he made everybody vote for Spike Hike and nothing changed. The end!
Charlie: Well, that didn't seem to have a very happy ending...
Gary: What did you expect? An exact remake of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol?