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  • PixieLil
    PixieLil closed this thread because:
    It's o-o-o-ooooooover
    15:55, October 10, 2016

    It was a normal day at the PSA. Gary was drinking coffee, Rookie was singing Miley Cyrus and pretending to be Thor while Rocky was Loki, Pixie was fangirling over Lee Pace while listening to Nightwish, and Raven had joined her. Charlie was stuffing his face with donuts along with Helmet and Gizmo, who, in fact, had a hard time eating donuts due to his robotness. Yup, pretty normal. No work was getting done as usual. Anyway, it was a normal day until there was a sudden knocking at the not-so-secret-secret entrance that led into the agencies main offices. It was ignored. Another knock...No answer. A canon shot went off...

    Me: WHO DIED?! RUE? FINNICK? PRIM?

    Pixie: *slaps me* NO! They're already dead anyway *trollface*

    Me: *scowls* What was that?

    Gary bursts in

    G: GADZOOKS! Did you hear that?

    Me: China heard that, Gary...What was it?

    Charlie walks in stuffing his face with donuts, Helmet in tow. Miley Cyrus can still be heard in the distance.

    Charlie: *talks with mouthfull* Perburly Rerkherpper

    Helmet: UNGLURSH? *is doing the same*

    Pixie: *rolls eyes* Why don't we all just go see what it was?

    Me: Someone who is smart, good!

    G: *opens his mouth and holds up a flipper*

    Me: Save it.

    They go and look outside, but as soon as they open the door a flash of orange light is seen and knocks them back, and Eagles is standing there, taller, white skin instead of brown, orange hair instead of yellow, same black shades, dogtag necklace, same old hoodie, the same one Raven wears, all black sneakers, and he is holding what seems to be a gun. There is something strange about his eyes. No, it wasn't those fake ass eyes you can buy in the Gift Shop what the hell even are those, besides creepy as hell?! His eyes were black pits, as if he were possessed. They all stared in shock, having no words or any idea how to respond to his sudden reappearance. He had been gone for nearly a year, after all. Depressed, unsure of life, questioning everything ever, and now here he was: not dead, standing before them. They all watched as he stared them down one by one, glaring. Nobody spoke for a while, but finally.......

      Loading editor
    • Me: Oh crap he's possessed! *I pull out my demon exorcism book* Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis sata-

      *Eagles shoots the book out of my hands*

      Me: Hey! Supernatural made this s*** look so easy. -_-

      Rookie: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIE!

      Eagles: Ah, the PSA. Still as usless at dealing with threats as ever I see. You fools should've promoted me while you had the chance.

      Me: And what's that supposed to mean?

      *Eagles shoots me with his gun*

      Gary: PIXIE NO!

      Raven: EAGLES, WHAT THE ACTUAL F***?!

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    • Eagles: Fools! ALL OF YOU! *Scoffs* Why did I ever work here? Wasnt appreciated. *shoots at Gary* I did ALLLLLL the work and what did I get? *shoots at Rookie* NOTHING! NOTHING!

      Everyone: .....


      Me: They let you have a lab and live here for fr-

      Eagles shoots Raven

      Me: ..... Oh pas de l'enfer ! Ne venez pas irruption ici et tirer mes amis , vous asshole!

      Eagles: Um. I understood "asshole"?

      Me: IT WAS FRENCH!!!

      Everyone: You speak..FRENCH?

      Me: no....Google Translate, come o-

      Eagles shoots her again.. 

      Eagles: FOURTH WALL. BROKEN!

      Me: .......

      Pixie: Eagles you break the fourth wall all the ti-

      He shoots Pixie now


      Gary: Why are these guns having no affect??

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    • Me: It's because of the island's insanely strict gun laws. Non military personnel can only obtain non-harmful guns. Basically they just make a loud noise and nothing else.

      Eagles: Gee, thanks Obama.

      Obama: *randomly appears* WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING?!

      Gary: IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT ROOKIE STOLE ALL MY COFFEE! *Gary launches himself at Obama*

      Me: O_O

      Eagles: GAH! I DON'T NEED GUNS, I HAVE SOMETHING MUCH MORE POWERFUL!

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    • Me: What? Your powers? Those disappeared with EVERYTHING ELSE POWERFUL ABOUT YOU!

      Eagles: EXCEPT MY BRAIN, BOOM B*TCH!

      Me: I really dont like him-

      Obama: HELP! YOUR PRESIDENT IS BEING ATTACKED! H-HELPPPPPPPPPPP!

      Everyone: *watches and silently exchanges bets*

      Pixie: *whispers* Gary

      Charlie: Obama.

      Me: ......

      Donald Trump: ME! *derp face* TRUMP CAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD! *pulls Obama away and flies off using the hot air from his mouth*

      Everyone: *stares*

      Eagles: *clears throat* BACK TO BUSINESS.

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    • Me: Wait, what were you saying again? I got distracted by all this political nonsense.

      Gary: Trump stole my afro.... CURSE YOU DONALD TRUMP! .

      Me: Gary... you haven't even had HAIR since you were like 19...

      Gary: oh right..

      Eagles: ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!

      Eagles throws something onto the ground, which releases a gas that causes the PSA to fall unconscious

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    • He then kidnaps them and takes them to his evil lair, which happens to be in AA's house, since it is his childhood bedroom. Tiny car bed, cheesy walls, car rug and everthi-

      Eagles: SHUT UP! NARRATOR!!! *He storms to his desk and snaps his flippers ((???), causing the Agents to all appear on his bed, unconscious still. He ties them up and sets them in a row by his closet and dresser, taping their mouths shut. As he waits for the sleep stuff to wear off he sharpens his knife* MWAHAHA

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    • Suddenly, the door opens

      Aunt Arctic: Hey sweetheart, can I get you anything? Some snacks? Your antidepressants maybe?

      Eagles: MOM GET OUT BEFORE I STAB YOU!

      Aunt Arctic: Goodness, someone certainly is grumpy today....

      Aunt Arctic leaves

      Eagles: UGH, why does she have to interrupt EVERYTHING?

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    • Eagles: I am talking to  myself.

      I'm here

      Eagles: NO YOU F*CK OF ANF GO F*CK YOURSELF YOU F*CKING F*CKER

      Take a chill pill. OR YOUR ANTIDEPRESSANTS HA!

      The Agents start to wake

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    • Raven: Bloody hell, what happened? And why am I in Eagles' bedroom?

      Gary: IS MY BRAIN STILL ATTACHED?

      Me: I'm not even gonna answer that...

      Rookie: YOU'LL NEVER GET ME LUCKY CHARMS!

      Gary:THEY'VE STOLEN MY BRAIN!

      Obama: WHY AM I STILL HERE? AM I JUST A CRACK INDUCED HALLUCINATION?

      Eagles: That's the last time I buy sleeping gas from a crack dealer...

      Raven: Eagles, what are you trying to do to us?

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    • Eagles: Get my revenge, duh. I just need to borrow your brains.

      He pulls out a large needle

      Rookie: O-oh *faints*

      G: WHAT

      Pixie: WHAT EAGLES???

      Me: STOP THIS NONSENSE!

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    • Gary: PROTECT MY ENORMOUS BRAIN!

      Me: Heh, that's what he sai- wait, what?

      Eagles: Um.....

      Rookie: Oh cool, a red button. '"*kicks a button on the floor*'"

      Eagles: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      nothing happens

      Rookie: Aw, I hate buttons that don't do anythi-

      The igloo explodes

        Loading editor
    • Everyone survives, but they are scattered about, Eagles emerges from the rubble

      Eagles: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *gowls and starts looking for him*

        Loading editor
    • And here comes Shiro, looking a year older, but more well-designed.

      Shiro: HEY! Just because I'm almosrt seventeen doesn't mean my design improves!

      Yeah, but still - 

      Shiro: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A BAD TIME, BRO !?

      I swear to god if you play one more game of Undertale... Anyway, Shiro gets to the other agents, thankfully.

      Shiro: I got here as fast as I could! Sorry I was late, I was making some Asian Donald Trump memes. What did I miss?

        Loading editor
    • Gary: Only Eagles returning, going insane, then trying to kill us all. Also, Obama is here.

      Obama: Seriously, can someone tell me if I'm real or an hallucination?

      Eagles grabs Gary

      Eagles: Your mistake was explaining exposition to someone who could have just read up above.

      Locy smacks Eagles with a frying pan

      Eagles takes frying pan, and throws it at Locy, with great force, rendering her unconscious

      Eagles: That's for every single time you broke the fourth wall by pointing out that someone else broke the fourth wall.

        Loading editor
    • Eagles: *smirks* Anyone else want a  piece?

      Rookie: CAKE??

      E: NO YOU IDIOT

      Dean: PIE?

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    • Eagles: WHY IS EVERYONE SO STUPID AROUND HERE?! *shoots Dean with a blast of energy*

      Raven: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      Gary: Oh dear, it appears he's evolved into... DARTH EAGLES!

      The Imperial March starts playing

      Eagles: Where the f*** is that coming from?

      Gary: Oh, sorry... that's just my ringtone, hang on, I gotta take this call-

      Eagles blasts Gary with his dark energy

        Loading editor
    • Gary: HEY ITS PIXIE STOP

      Pixie: wahwahwawawawawawa

      E: *rolls eyes* SHE IS STANDING RIGHT THERE!

      Pixie: *hides*

      G: *runs off* COMING COFFEE

        Loading editor
    • Eagles: Ugh

      Rookie: HEY DARTH EAGLES, ARE YOU GONNA REVEAL YOURSELF TO BE MY FATHER?

      Eagles blasts rookie

      Eagles: YOU FOOLS! THE PSA IS AS GOOD AS MINE. SURRENDER NOW, BEFORE I KILL THIS PATHETIC IDIOT!

      Rookie: You wouldn't kill a guy with glasses on? Would you?

      Me: Eagles, why do you want to take over the PSA anyway?

        Loading editor
    • Eagles: Because. It is rightfully mine!


      G: Um how....PIXIE FOUNDED IT

        Loading editor
    • Shiro: Unless Eagles co-founded it or something...


      Eagles: That's DARTH Eagles to you, lady!


      Shiro: Well, that's CRAZY CAT lady to you!


      Then Eagles and Shiro get into an ultimate sword fight. Cue the Duel of the Fates soundtrack.


      Gary:... Well at least Shiro gets to take her anger out now.

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    • Me: *stares* Kinda wish he was dead....

      Charlie: I always knew he was evil.

      Pixie: Who knew him, I mean really?

      Gary: *sips coffee* Um...You?

      Pixie: No...What the f*ck?!

      Gary: Didn't you two...like...work together.

      Rookie: We all work together....Man, and I thought was the dumb one. *eats a donut-shaped rock*

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    • Gary: Did ROOKIE just call ME dumb?

      Me: Gary, dont capitalize certain words, it makes you sound like Saraapril...

      Rookie: Yeah G, don't act like an idiot!

      Gary: WHATDIDYOUJUSTCALLME? *hits Rookie over the head with a flaming squid*

      Me: Where are these squids even coming from?

      Obama: I'm still here...

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    • Me: *looks at Obama* Unfortunately. Can't wait until the election ends and you leave.

      Everyone nods in agreement

      Me: Wait.....did...pixie just compare gary to Saraapril?

      Pixie: Yes.

      Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm......Damn...Isn't she like...20 now?

        Loading editor
    • Me: she's probably like 80 years old.

      Eagles and Shiro continue to fight

      Me: Should we intervene?

      Everyone: Nah

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    • Me: Hmm...I wonder what Saraapril looks like...

      Pixie: Ugly.

      Charlie: 2.

      Gary: Aunt Arctic after a day long shower.

      Everyone stares at him

      Me: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE

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    • Gary: I have a vivid imagination...

      Obama: I'm pretty sure you had cameras set up all over her house.

      Pixie: GARY!!! ARE YOU SPYING ON OTHER WOMEN???

      Gary: I would never. I think Obama's just trying to stay relevant.

      Obama: It's true; once either Clinton or Trump enter office, my one true legacy, ObamaCare, will be removed almost immediately. It's sad really...

      A Giant explosion is heard, and Shiro is seen in a giant crater

      Eagles: THAT FELT LIKE IT TOOK MONTHS!!! DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO FIGHT, OR WILL YOU ALL SURRENDER TO ME NOW???

      Rookie: NEVER!!!

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    • Me: Y'know what, this is just getting ridiculous. *throws Obama at Eagles*

      Eagles: AGGHHHHHHHHH

      Obama: *singing* You're gonna miss me when I'm goooone

      They both explode for some reason

      Raven: YAY NO MORE EAGLES OR OBAMA!

      Me: HAH! TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!

      Rookie: Obama was a bird?

      Me: It's an expression, dummy.

      Rookie: I'M NOT DUMB, GARY'S DUMB!

      Gary: COME HERE YOU LITTLE S***!

      Gary chases Rookie around with a replica of the Master Sword

      Raven: Great, another fight...

      Shiro: You can handle this one, I have better things to do. *goes to look for Herbert so she can kill him again*

      ADL: I think we should just let this work this out by themselves....

      Me: Yeah.....

      Raven: Let's all go have cocoa and watch this from somewhere less dangerous.

      Everyone goes inside to watch G and Rookie comically beat each other up on one of the monitors

      THE END (Finally)

      Somewhere on top of a mountain

      Eagles is still alive due to Obama's magical teleportation powers

      Eagles: Thanks Obama!

      Obama: That's the first time somebody's actually meant that as a compliment.

      Eagles: Shut up, I still don't like you.

      LET IT END ALREADY!

      Obama: NEVER! I'M PRESIDENT AND I DECLARE THIS RP NEVER ENDING!

      Obama has been hit by a frying pan, thus ending the RP for good

        Loading editor
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